warning to other blog users!

this post will be about illegitimate pageviews. if you have a blog, you most likely have looked at your stats and seen how many people have seen your blog, and the websites they used to get to it. if you havent noticed there are probably a missive amount of pageviews coming from a weird website that isnt google. these are just people that want you to notice that and visit their site. strangely if you just click on the link it leads to a "cannot display this page". many people complain about this and google just says ignore them. one website i got a bunch of views from was "pregolom" to i used google translate to find out what the hell it was. guess what? its a russian porn site! yep this kind of crap happens on pretty much every blog so be forewarned. and guess what? RANDOM PICTURE!!!!!

old fashioned moustache elixir

i really really love the packaging for this. unfortunately, there is a 99% chance it will be a red bull clone. seriously, almost every energy drink this isnt a big brand is a red bull clone, but even more so with novelty energy drinks. the top of can is also covered in fuzz for some reason, maybe it made the can grow a moustache. i think i would have plenty of moustache  if i wanted it without this though.




smell: actually not red bull. something like lemonade but also something else sweet in it.




taste: actually, its like mountain dew believe it or not. its also mtn dew colored as you can see in the picture. well actually its even more atomic piss colored than mtn dew. quite a good flavor. the corn syrup makes it pretty syrupy and gives it a bad aftertaste though.



kick: small red bull kick. no jitters, just a bunch of focus. which i guess is a desirable trait in energy drinks, although if i was doing anything other than sitting in front of a computer and typing, i would opt for something stronger. i am typing this unusually fast with no typos at all, so this does make a great focus drink.




overall: buy a palette! very nice tasting for an energy drink, and incredible for a novelty energy drink. plus it has the best name ever. it also has a nice focused kick. i really expected crap from a novelty energy drink, as their focus is not to be a good drink, its to laugh at the name.

arizona cherry lime rickey

i should mention that i am the FIRST REVIEWER!!!! for this new drink by arizona, as it just came out and apparently today was the release date since my local 711 didnt have it yesterday. as most of you may know, this was exclusively launched at 711 for arizonas 20th anniversary with much fanfare. the best part about this drink is that its a huge ass 24oz can, and the arizona company is based in new york. this absolutely CRAPS all over the soda ban being enacted in new york. and i am very happy too see that over half of the city think its a retarded idea. the can design differs radically from arizonas normal cans,  and also it does not contain any tea. this is flavored with real fruit juice (10%) and contains 6 different fruit juices. this is colored with vegetable juice, and all the natural stuff is ruined by every chemical ever put in soda. corn syrup, sucralose, ace k, ester gum and all that crap. i usually love lime rickeys, but they are usually not cherry. it has a qr code on it thats allows you to win an unknown prize.



smell: orange juice? that not even one of the 6 juices..... odd.




taste: disappointment. this tastes like real fruit juice for sure, but like most carbonated fruit juices, this tastes sour and watery, and just generally unsatisfying. fruit juices are generally like that to me, and despite the corn syrup and artificial sweeteners, the taste is still pretty natural. i was disappointed by this, but if you like fruit juice you will probably like this. there are definite cherry and lime tastes, but the other fruits blend in and mute them. i was waiting a month for this, and thats why i was really disappointed.



overall: buyer beware! i had high hopes for a lime rickey drink, but was sadly disappointed. of course this is still a great value at 1$ for a big ass 24 oz can, i didnt like it. this isnt horrible, but i would never buy it again. arizona has much better offerings, and again i still cant believe nobody has reviewed this on any other website yet.

faygo candy apple soda

( the original photo i took got lost somehow, so i just used one from google instead of delaying the review to buy a another one)


so this is a very strange variety of soder, candy apple. this is also incredibly cheap, at only 1$ per 24 ounce bottle. but that should be expected since every drink made by the national beverage company is 1$. i am surprised nobody ever tried to do this, since candy apple is still sort of a fruity flavor, and everybody seems to love making fruit soders.  this is also a rare type of faygo in the one convenience store i can find it it, and its very rarely in stock. there was 10 of them the day before i got this, and this was the last one, so either this is a very popular drink in my town or there is one person that likes this and buys out the entire stock when its available.



smell: exactly like candy apples. and also sister (in a vicious attempt to try it before me) decided to carelessly rip it open after it had been shaken on my walk home from buying it, and half the bottle exploded all over the kitchen floor, and its probably going to be sticky as hell until a bunch of ants lick it clean.




taste: not being familiar with candy apple taste since i hate apples and would never buy one, i cant say this tastes like them, but does taste like how they smell. this is pretty similar in taste to postobon, but without the bubblegum taste.




overall: try a bottle! its a pretty unique soder, and pretty good at that. although i dont think i can drink the entire 24 ounce bottle of it, its worth trying. and if you decide you dont like it? your only penalty is a dollar, and then you can shoot it with a bb gun or something.

jolt power cola

so this review is a day early, because im out of town tomorrow.


here before me stands one of the rarest energy drinks in existance. it is nearly impossible to find this in most of the country, and i found mine in a random gas station. why this is rare i cant really say since cola is such a hard flavor to screw up, and cola would seem like the perfect carrier for energy drinks. jolt makes other flavors, but they are even rarer than this. what many dont know is that jolt was the FIRST nationally available energy drink. the first ever was dr enuf, but that was only in chicago. once red bull entered the energy drink market jolt sort of fell into oblivion. the energy cola market was still not completely dead, as both red bull and rockstar started making one, but red bulls didnt sell for crap so it stopped being sold in the us. rockstar cola still exists but is rare at least in my area. well enough about the past lets try this!



smell: like coke, but maybe more herbal.




taste: really good for an energy drink. for a soder, not so much. this isnt bad, but has a vitamin taste to it ( you know like those flintstone vitamins everybody took as a kid) i guess cola really isnt the perfect carrier for energy drinks. that award goes to coffee. its still better than say, monster redbull or rockstar, but its not phenomenal.



kick: decent. this was somewhat weak to me, which is pretty surprising for something that was almost taken off the market long ago for caffeine content. i assume the caffeine content has been reduced since the company changed hands so much and came under so much fire for its caffeine content in the past.
EDIT: the caffeine content is 190mg in a 16 oz can. that is significantly more than monster. i have no idea why the can i had in this review was so weak, and maybe it was old or something because i recently had a can that tasted much better and kicked a lot harder.




overall: try a can! this is a pretty nice tasting energy drink, though its not that good for a cola. its worth a try and has an okay kick. though this isnt the best, im still surprised it is so rare because this is great compared to any of the leading energy drinks.

captn elis parrot punch

sorry for the delay, i just forgot to post this yesterday.
this is one of many captn eli drinks bottled in maine and made with real sugar. im pretty sure this is the only non carbonated one, but thats okay because i like punch. i only managed to get this one, but on my next trip to maine i will get more of these. well theres not much else to say about this so lets try it!




smell: like hawaiian punch, but cleaner.



taste: okay this is definitely carbonated, despite not saying that on the bottle. its kind of like carbonated hawaiian punch, but fresher because of the real sugar instead of the corn syrup used in hawaiian punch.

overall: try a bottle! its nothing incredible, but its interesting, and worth a try. i also like to support small businesses so try it if only for that.

jeffs chocolate soda egg cream

so i am very afraid to try this soda. for one, it is an egg cream, and that sounds disgusting. it also is 97% fat free, which means its 3% fat. not many sodas hae fat in them, and thats not exactly a desirable ingredient for a drink. my other reason for being scared, is that it has milk in it and i REALLY hate milk. i have also had this for about a month and a half, and milk doesnt stay good for that long. it does have preservatives, but im still afraid. it also says not to shake and i am left wondering why. this is made by the egg cream company and part of the email address is "getcreamed" so this company must do a lot of business somewhere else because i have never once seen a bottle of this outside of the "weird" section of the soda aisle.


smell: yum! like hot chocolate. except cold.


taste: oh that is really weird. and not in a good way. its like carbonated hot chocolate but sour. it also has no aftertaste, which is very odd for something that has milk and hfcs in it. and when pouring it into a shot glass, you can see its odd thickness and it looks like hot chocolate that coats the glass with bubbles. i was at least glad it wasnt chunky.


overall: do not buy! there are probably not any other chocolate sodas, but chocolate isnt the kind of thing you carbonate. neither is gravy, but jones soda co did that. anyway this would be pretty good if it werent sour. and i have no idea why its sour because theres no citric acid in it. this is pretty gross and i am amazed the "egg cream company" is even still in business because i cant see anybody liking this. also milk is a very bad ingredient to put in a drink unless its a coffee drink. they make a vanilla one too, which im sure is equally bad. i poured this down the drain, which is something i dont often do. if i paid for a drink, i will choke it down, unless its REALLY gross.